Gospel of cl final

Now I'll read a passage from the Gospel according to me.
It was the forth wenesday of the final round, year 2007 A.D.
The sky over Olympic Stadium, as if by magic, became suddenly cloudy.
All the clouds started to frolic and to clash. Thunderbolts and
flashes everywhere...incredible mess in the sky! Suddenly, clouds
were ripped from two gigantic hands and the face of God appeared.
Nice man, 40 years old. He pointed his terrible finger to the Olympic Stadium
field and he said: Rino Gattuso, take that ball (Adidas Tango) and go
all over the pitch mowning down everything that can move